The Government

The core theme of the new constitution will be the Right to Protect Human Rights of the Minority Communities in the nation. Accordingly the government will be divided in to four main branches, namely:

• The Legislature
• The Judiciary
• The Rajapakshe Council
• The Executive

The Legislature

The Legislature will comprise of 50-50 Representation of Tamils and Sinhalese granting the Sri Lankan Tamil Community their historic political demand since time immortal. This number will be chosen by a popular election comprising Tamils who support the Rajapakshe family and Sinhalese who support the Rajapakshe family. All the members of the legislature will have to take an oath of eternal servitude to the Rajapakshe family.

The Judiciary

The Judiciary will comprise of highly educated Rajapakshe supporters who have reached a level of maturity that has not being reached by the average Rajapakshe supporter. All members of the Judiciary will be able to act independently as long as they are following the wishes of Mahinda Rajapakshe.

The Rajapakshe Council

A Special council will be created comprising the members of the Rajapakshe clan who have sworn eternal loyalty to Mahinda Rajapakshe. Although the membership of the council is open to all members of the legislature, before being appointed the appointee must legally change his/her name to “Rajapakshe”. The Rajapakshe council will take the responsibility of protecting the nation from external terrorists and internal traitors. The council will also make it their priority to ensure that Human Rights are applied to all those who support the Rajapakshe government.

The Executive

The Executive will be the head of the nation and will be called as president and will be elected by the people of Sri Lanka through popular vote. In order to run for the office of the president the person must be a Sri Lankan born who is a member of the Rajapakshe Council.

The Citizens

In an act of generosity and graciousness the new constitution will term all citizens of Sri Lanka as “Supporters of the Rajapakshe Clan”. This is done in order to prevent several highly rich Colombian citizens from being excluded from the popular movement and making their feelings hurt. After this reform all citizens of the country will be able to feel that they supported the destruction of terrorism and fascism and be unified by a common identity.

Fundamental Rights

The new constitution will ensure the Right to protect doctrine of all citizens by granting full military and police powers to average citizens in the event of a violation or the perceived violation of Human Rights and Democracy. The average Rajapakshe supporter will now be able to defend himself and his immediate friends from coming to harm through undemocratic means or having their human rights violated.

Religion

The official religion in Sri Lanka will of course be changed to Rajapakshism, which is a growing offshoot of Buddhism, Christianity and Islam which is poised to unite all Sri Lankan in a single religion thus eliminating each and every one of Religious tensions in the island.

Because Rajapakshism is a religion of the people, the people will be given the power to elect their religious leaders. Different religious leaders will be elected to each branch of Rajapakshism from previously Buddhist, Christian and Muslim religions. These leaders will be considered equal among all of them while the Buddhist branch of Rajapshism will be given the foremost place in the Sri Lankan constitution.

The State

The nation of Sri Lanka will be a formally known as the Democratic Socialist Rajapaksheland of Sri Lanka and will be divided in to four main administrative divisions which will be headed by Basil, Namal, Gothabaya and Chamal Rajapakshe. They along with Mahinda Rajapakshe will be known as the Five Great Pillars of Rajapakshaland of Sri Lanka and will be entitled to make a 10% commission on each and all monetary transactions taking place in the island.

Accordingly a new tax will be constituently mandated named the “Basil Tax” which will be applied along with other taxes such as VAT. Also all businesses and corporations in the island will be re-incorporated under a Rajapakshe with more than 50% shares be handed over to Basil Rajapakshe.

Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapakshe has expressed his confidence in the new constitution to bring a new era of prosperity and good governance to Sri Lanka. People in Sri Lanka are expected to vote en-masse for the UPFA and the constitutional reform is expected to be implemented hours after Basil Rajapakshe announces the election results as the deputy elections commissioner.

All Sri Lankans are said to be in a constant state of expectation and hope till the new constitution is implemented and Sri Lanka turned to the Utopia of Asia.

If those people (thugs as some would call it) who threw stones had brought stones with the explicit intention of throwing those (Intentional Stoners) then of course it is wrong. But I doubt it. People get frustrated and sometimes emotions get high. By now Maharaja People should have Stone proof buildings anyway so I doubt any one really got hurt other than the customary injuries for the cameramen.

But like any other issue where the “nationalist” or “Buddhist” people gets involved the pro western Colombian media are harping all over it, and are projecting a violent image of the Sinhala people. By western standards our protests are pretty peaceful, calm and civil.

But people need to understand that there’s Nationalism and Buddhism. Thanks to our constitution Buddhism and Nationalism are blurred together in this country. So it’s not easy to distinguish between the two. Because easiest and the cheapest way to attack Sri Lanka is to attack Buddhism because for some apparent reason Sinhala people can’t seem to unite in their opposition.

Whoever the people who conduct these protests are, the real issue here is Akon coming to Sri Lanka. Given the recent information about the event there are serious questions to be asked on why Akon is in Sri Lanka in the first place.

What we have to understand is that there is a collective movement to undermine the Buddhists in this country.  Take a look at this article, see how the author is slyly trying to drag the Buddhists in to the story by talking about a soaked posters. Also remember it was the Colombian crowd who started talking about a Facebook group against Akon in the blogosphere last week which later spread to the media. Sounds like a convenient way to gear up protests. And there are more and more people who are quick to blame the Buddhists for “throwing stones”

Akon as we know had some woman in bikinis dance next to a Buddha statute in a defamatory way. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as he’s living in US. But he’s one “popular” artist who would capture the attention and inflame the some sections in society here against him. So serious questions should be asked about why Akon of all people was invited to a concert in Sri Lanka. They would have invited anyone else. But no one else would have being this controversial.

So the conclusion is obvious. He was invited here for this very purpose of making the majority in this country look bad. (Notice the cute way MTV was able to capture all the juicy stuff about protesters throwing stones).

So why, the Nationalists or the Religionists are playing in to their hands? Should they stop protesting? Should they just allow Akon to come to SL and let some Colombians dance the night off, and celebrate how peaceful and “Buddhists” we are.

No. They should not. Everyone in Sri Lanka should protest Akon because we should not be taking this lying down. We should protest simply for the reason that it makes us feel good, knowing full well that the Colombians will circulate these images around the world to increase their ever dwindling NGO donations. We should let the whole world see us and make them know that we’re done with being pacifists.

The stupid conception of pacifism given to us by Lord Buddha has not done much for the society in general. It may well be good for individual salvation, but it just plain stupid for a nation. This was a fact that our past leaders like King Dutugamunu the Great acknowledged. But even he couldn’t implement total war. After the war was over he pardoned his enemy, let illegal colonists live inside his kingdom and made generations of people follow in his path of appeasement. (Something Tamil Nationalists are well aware of)

So why should we collectively support tarnishing our own image. Because it doesn’t matter. Sri Lanka has being leaning away from the Western world for some time now. Most of our aid comes from China and India, most of our tourist come from the middle east and China. The west has being economically trying to tighten the noose around Mahinda for some time now. As a nation we should not try to listen, care or give a rat’s ass about their conception of Human rights and media freedom.

We as a people don’t need to care what our image looks like in the west. If protesting against Akon is the only way we can let our voice be heard against western imperialism, let it be. We should not take this collective effort to undermine us lying down.

But this kind of random protest again Maharaja isn’t going to work. Unfortunately the masses don’t give a shit about Akon or his videos. People have bigger things to worry about. This also suggests why Akon was invited because he’s big enough to attract some noise, but not big enough to attract a mass protest.

Whatever it is people should throw more stones at Sirasa and Maharaja and convince them to drop their anti-national policies. If stones don’t work I’m sure there are other ways. Remember SRK?

Well, come to think of it I really don’t like him, and if some one wants to throw a grenade at the bugger they’re more than well come.

Kudos to people who’re not affraid of the government and want to express theiropinion against them allowing a Buddhist hater for singing in Sri Lanka.

Anyways heard that there were 25000 tickets for the concert and they were all sold out. For 25000 i hope they get to at least touch AKONs balls. And they say people in Sri Lanka dont have money to eat.

Anonymity gives people to say complete bullshit without actually having to face the real consequences of that.  To every person trying to “expose” something, there are ten other assholes shouting out complete bullshit. Be it anti-government propaganda or Tweets about your recent hard-on people are just taking liberties out of a convenience little fact that, you can be anonymous on the web, relatively that is.

Relatively you ask? Why of course. When it comes down to it you can be tracked down fairly quickly if some one’s willing to spend a little bit of time and money. Even easier if you live in a country like Sri Lanka and you blog/tweet anonymously, all there is to it is paying attention.

It’s even easier for the government. You only need cooperation from Google and maybe Facebook.  It’s super easy if you are the US government. You can basically order a cooperation to disclose someone’s IP. Come to think of it goggle is probably monitoring stuff like, searches for “how to make a bomb” and “Death to Obama” (To all the bots who  visit this site because of those two terms, let me give a huge FUCK YOU)

Why do we need to get rid of anonymity, because we need to censor the web? Not really people will say what they have to say anyways if they care enough about them. But it will create a chain of accountability and people will start taking what’s on the web seriously.

The web should be censored.  (Yes you heard that right). But not the way your grandpa wants it. The web should be censored to the same extent of the TV. Let me explain. Today’s TV is divided into different channels, which broadcasts a certain view of things. For example Siarasa in Sri Lanka and Fox in US give out content in an anti-government platform, whereas channels like Rupavahini and MSNBC gives out pro-government information. People are free to choose what they want to believe and watch, and all other conflicting information is removed from those outlets.

The web should be similar. There should be a pro-government Google. When you search for something in a pro-government “web” instead of getting a whole shit of bullshit from places Ground views people will be taken to more appropriate places. If you want anti government related information you will switch to the anti-government web channel.  The same applies to porn, songs and ChuckNoris jokes. Appoint a board of directors for each “web channel” and let them monitor the content.

Now before you start shouting it’s already discovered and its call the “web page” let me point out that it is not the case. No one directly goes to a web page anymore. People visit web sites directly through Google, or another link. So for different web channels there will be different Googles.  (Is that even a word??) And a person will be able to switch channels if they want. But inside a channel all the information will be in regard to one topic.

And it will create a world we can all believe in instead of fighting each other. Shouldn’t that be fun, because in the end it’s all about perception? If everyone believes what everyone wants to believe, everyone will be happy.

And wouldn’t it be cool to go back to the age of Bonsai Kittens again?

Bomb Explosion from two years ago

Wait… didn’t we just had a presidential election. He could have explained this back then right. It would have stopped Gonseka being the butt of all “pay hike” jokes. So the logical conclusion is that he has discovered this during the last month. So what exactly happened to Ranil that made him suddenly see all the solutions to our problems in just 31 days.

Now the first thought that goes through my head is WHAT?? In Only TWO weeks? It’s like those ads you see on TV, you know promising to reduce your weight in xxx days or your money back.

It gets even better. Ranil apparently has a whole bag full of sarcasm and satire up his ass.

“Those days a few bombs explode on the roads. Today there are no exploding bombs on roads. The bomb explodes when you go home, when you find that you cannot buy the essentials..”

SERIOUSLY?? Now he’s comparing terrorist attacks to the COL? I guess he doesn’t get it. He didn’t have to take the bus everyday and keep his figures crossed that there won’t be a bomb. He didn’t have to keep looking at people in a bus and try to judge a person was a Suicide bomber or not.

The REAL funny bit is this

“The masses should elect a government which shows its gratitude to the people. So the voters should vote in a UNF government which knows how to repay the gratitude to the masses”

HaHa. This is the joke of the month. If people wanted to show their gratitude they will vote UPFA, oh wait… They already did that. Btw. Thanks a lot for repaying the gratitude in 2002/2003 when u almost gave the country away for terrorists.

All in all that little speech right there encapsulate the entire plight of the UNP and the UNP mentality. He was apparently saying all these to UNP party reps. (Not even a public rally) I can just imagine what’s going on in their heads when they hear this kind of bullshit.

“Laws change, depending on who’s making them, but justice is justice”

- Odo (Star Trek Deep space Nine)

Mahinda is the undisputed unconquered democratically elected KING of Sri Lanka for the next 6-8 years (and beyond if he’s really really clever). His legitimacy is unquestionable now. Mahinda is given a mandate from the Sinhala Buddhist people of this country to lead the nation in the next decade to come.

Sinhala People’s Collective memory span is longer than two Weeks

As surprising as it sounds, this seems to be the case. Given how the Sinhala people have behaved in the past it is refreshing to see Mahinda Win majority Sinhala electorates 60%+.  What he won he won big (by around 15000-40000 in average electorates of around 40000-80000 voters).

MR celebrations - Photo curtesy Daily Mirror

10000 Rupees? FUCK YOU BITCH!!

Yes the 10000 rupee increment ruse has not worked with the government servants at all. They all voted 60-70% toward the government who basically promised them shit. Thank god for SWRD’s Swabasha act, now we have government servants who are majority Sinhalese and who will not behave the way Colombo 7 elites want them to.

There Are More Important Things than Money

Surprising as it sounds apparently this is the general summed up message coming from the polls. No one can argue that a UNP government is better for the economy. The UNP is backed by the economic class of Sri Lanka and has powerful contacts outside who would have invested heavily without a single comment about “Human Rights”.

But it seems that Sinhala people has finally got it in to their heads that selling the soul to the same people who came to Sri Lanka and committed genocide 2-3 centuries ago is not a good idea. (We’d rather sell it to China..lol)

Colombo’s Virtual Reality

It takes times like these for the rich fat bastards in Colombo to realize that Sri Lanka is not Colombo. No matter how much they pretend that it’s all about Colombo in the end when it comes to democracy, the power of the people wins. And the people do not live in Colombo.

Democratic Corruption

A large majority of the people in Sri Lanka supports Corruption. The entire UNJVP campaign was based on “Mahinda Rajapakshe’s Corruption”.  (Never mind the fact that while UNJVP shouted corruption from Colombo what people saw was real development after decades of negligence).  So much so that it was taken as a “fact” and no one was able to produce proof.

However by the transitive properties of corrupt logic it can be successfully argued that since it is a fact that MR is corrupt and MR is democratically elected the majority of the Sri Lankan people support Corruption. So whenever someone accuse you of being corrupt just say “The country supports corruption 58% – 40%.

This story on the Washington Post is exactly that; titled “In Sri Lankan politics, not even an opposition astrologer is safe” made me go…

“Opposition” Astrologers? Really??

I don’t buy in to the whole “horoscope” bullshit, but how can be there “opposition” astrologers?

(n) astrologer, astrologist (someone who predicts the future by the positions of the planets and sun and Moon)

(Wordnet 3.0 – Princeton)

Just wonder who recent phenomenon this “opposition astrologers” is. Reminds me of what happened with the astrologers with Tamerlane’s court.

This is great news in fact. Instead of the elite group of astrologers who predicts to politicians of all parties now we have openly pro and anti govt. astrologers. I guess being an astrologer in Sri Lankan politics sucks, especially when both parties come to you for their daily “predictions”. So now it seems they have done the sensible thing and picked a side. (But now they run the risk of being 100% wrong instead of being 50% wrong in an election).

According to the Washington Post this astrologer, Chandrasiri Bandara writes for an “opposition news paper”. So his prediction about the president being “killed” is solely to gain political advantage by being a cheap media whore. I’m sure being the first guy to predict the death of the President after Prabahkaran must be a real kick.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the govt. completely mishandled the entire affair. They should have laughed it off and if they were in a really good mood should have put their own astrologers forward predicting the death of Mr. Bandara leading to a “heavenly” war. Hehe. (Maybe they did. I really didn’t pay any attention to this story when it broke out.)

Mr. Bandara seems to be a modern day astrologer. He has his own web site, and even a facebook page. (If only he can start twittering) I’m sure the recent arrest didn’t affect his hit count either. According to Mr. Bandara there’s a “there is a chance of someone in the government killing me until 2012”. How convenient. But I’m sure it’s a bit off on the prediction scale. It should be 2018 (or 2016 if we go to Presidential polls next year)

This bugger seems to be your typical UNP media whore. Crying about the celebrations which erupted when the LTTE were defeated and being “concerned” about the terrorists and their supporting families in welfare camps.

Besides the Washington post article is seriously outdated. I had to Google to remember what happened; and since Daily Mirror doesn’t say anything about his apparently recent prediction about 2012 I’m sure it’s not a recent event.

Or the Washington post seriously misunderstood the prediction about being killed in 2012. I’m sure the entire Sri Lankan media has too.

“extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”.

Seriously????… What has Obama done to deserve that?? The Iraq war is still ongoing. The US is going to invade Afghanistan for the second time in less than 10 years, the healthcare bill is in really “bad health” and he’s just lost the Olympics to Rio.

Come to think about it Five politically appointed Norwegians are never going to be objective. But why on earth pick a choice that screems stupidity.

“Extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples” means bullshit. Other than Bill Clinton flying to North Korea and getting some crazy jurno released the world is at the same place Bush left it. I think Fcebook has done more than Obama to increase “diplomacy and Cooperation between people”. Someone should nominate Mark Zunkenburg to the prize.