The Government

The core theme of the new constitution will be the Right to Protect Human Rights of the Minority Communities in the nation. Accordingly the government will be divided in to four main branches, namely:

• The Legislature
• The Judiciary
• The Rajapakshe Council
• The Executive

The Legislature

The Legislature will comprise of 50-50 Representation of Tamils and Sinhalese granting the Sri Lankan Tamil Community their historic political demand since time immortal. This number will be chosen by a popular election comprising Tamils who support the Rajapakshe family and Sinhalese who support the Rajapakshe family. All the members of the legislature will have to take an oath of eternal servitude to the Rajapakshe family.

The Judiciary

The Judiciary will comprise of highly educated Rajapakshe supporters who have reached a level of maturity that has not being reached by the average Rajapakshe supporter. All members of the Judiciary will be able to act independently as long as they are following the wishes of Mahinda Rajapakshe.

The Rajapakshe Council

A Special council will be created comprising the members of the Rajapakshe clan who have sworn eternal loyalty to Mahinda Rajapakshe. Although the membership of the council is open to all members of the legislature, before being appointed the appointee must legally change his/her name to “Rajapakshe”. The Rajapakshe council will take the responsibility of protecting the nation from external terrorists and internal traitors. The council will also make it their priority to ensure that Human Rights are applied to all those who support the Rajapakshe government.

The Executive

The Executive will be the head of the nation and will be called as president and will be elected by the people of Sri Lanka through popular vote. In order to run for the office of the president the person must be a Sri Lankan born who is a member of the Rajapakshe Council.

The Citizens

In an act of generosity and graciousness the new constitution will term all citizens of Sri Lanka as “Supporters of the Rajapakshe Clan”. This is done in order to prevent several highly rich Colombian citizens from being excluded from the popular movement and making their feelings hurt. After this reform all citizens of the country will be able to feel that they supported the destruction of terrorism and fascism and be unified by a common identity.

Fundamental Rights

The new constitution will ensure the Right to protect doctrine of all citizens by granting full military and police powers to average citizens in the event of a violation or the perceived violation of Human Rights and Democracy. The average Rajapakshe supporter will now be able to defend himself and his immediate friends from coming to harm through undemocratic means or having their human rights violated.

Religion

The official religion in Sri Lanka will of course be changed to Rajapakshism, which is a growing offshoot of Buddhism, Christianity and Islam which is poised to unite all Sri Lankan in a single religion thus eliminating each and every one of Religious tensions in the island.

Because Rajapakshism is a religion of the people, the people will be given the power to elect their religious leaders. Different religious leaders will be elected to each branch of Rajapakshism from previously Buddhist, Christian and Muslim religions. These leaders will be considered equal among all of them while the Buddhist branch of Rajapshism will be given the foremost place in the Sri Lankan constitution.

The State

The nation of Sri Lanka will be a formally known as the Democratic Socialist Rajapaksheland of Sri Lanka and will be divided in to four main administrative divisions which will be headed by Basil, Namal, Gothabaya and Chamal Rajapakshe. They along with Mahinda Rajapakshe will be known as the Five Great Pillars of Rajapakshaland of Sri Lanka and will be entitled to make a 10% commission on each and all monetary transactions taking place in the island.

Accordingly a new tax will be constituently mandated named the “Basil Tax” which will be applied along with other taxes such as VAT. Also all businesses and corporations in the island will be re-incorporated under a Rajapakshe with more than 50% shares be handed over to Basil Rajapakshe.

Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapakshe has expressed his confidence in the new constitution to bring a new era of prosperity and good governance to Sri Lanka. People in Sri Lanka are expected to vote en-masse for the UPFA and the constitutional reform is expected to be implemented hours after Basil Rajapakshe announces the election results as the deputy elections commissioner.

All Sri Lankans are said to be in a constant state of expectation and hope till the new constitution is implemented and Sri Lanka turned to the Utopia of Asia.

Bomb Explosion from two years ago

Wait… didn’t we just had a presidential election. He could have explained this back then right. It would have stopped Gonseka being the butt of all “pay hike” jokes. So the logical conclusion is that he has discovered this during the last month. So what exactly happened to Ranil that made him suddenly see all the solutions to our problems in just 31 days.

Now the first thought that goes through my head is WHAT?? In Only TWO weeks? It’s like those ads you see on TV, you know promising to reduce your weight in xxx days or your money back.

It gets even better. Ranil apparently has a whole bag full of sarcasm and satire up his ass.

“Those days a few bombs explode on the roads. Today there are no exploding bombs on roads. The bomb explodes when you go home, when you find that you cannot buy the essentials..”

SERIOUSLY?? Now he’s comparing terrorist attacks to the COL? I guess he doesn’t get it. He didn’t have to take the bus everyday and keep his figures crossed that there won’t be a bomb. He didn’t have to keep looking at people in a bus and try to judge a person was a Suicide bomber or not.

The REAL funny bit is this

“The masses should elect a government which shows its gratitude to the people. So the voters should vote in a UNF government which knows how to repay the gratitude to the masses”

HaHa. This is the joke of the month. If people wanted to show their gratitude they will vote UPFA, oh wait… They already did that. Btw. Thanks a lot for repaying the gratitude in 2002/2003 when u almost gave the country away for terrorists.

All in all that little speech right there encapsulate the entire plight of the UNP and the UNP mentality. He was apparently saying all these to UNP party reps. (Not even a public rally) I can just imagine what’s going on in their heads when they hear this kind of bullshit.

“Laws change, depending on who’s making them, but justice is justice”

- Odo (Star Trek Deep space Nine)

Mahinda is the undisputed unconquered democratically elected KING of Sri Lanka for the next 6-8 years (and beyond if he’s really really clever). His legitimacy is unquestionable now. Mahinda is given a mandate from the Sinhala Buddhist people of this country to lead the nation in the next decade to come.

Sinhala People’s Collective memory span is longer than two Weeks

As surprising as it sounds, this seems to be the case. Given how the Sinhala people have behaved in the past it is refreshing to see Mahinda Win majority Sinhala electorates 60%+.  What he won he won big (by around 15000-40000 in average electorates of around 40000-80000 voters).

MR celebrations - Photo curtesy Daily Mirror

10000 Rupees? FUCK YOU BITCH!!

Yes the 10000 rupee increment ruse has not worked with the government servants at all. They all voted 60-70% toward the government who basically promised them shit. Thank god for SWRD’s Swabasha act, now we have government servants who are majority Sinhalese and who will not behave the way Colombo 7 elites want them to.

There Are More Important Things than Money

Surprising as it sounds apparently this is the general summed up message coming from the polls. No one can argue that a UNP government is better for the economy. The UNP is backed by the economic class of Sri Lanka and has powerful contacts outside who would have invested heavily without a single comment about “Human Rights”.

But it seems that Sinhala people has finally got it in to their heads that selling the soul to the same people who came to Sri Lanka and committed genocide 2-3 centuries ago is not a good idea. (We’d rather sell it to China..lol)

Colombo’s Virtual Reality

It takes times like these for the rich fat bastards in Colombo to realize that Sri Lanka is not Colombo. No matter how much they pretend that it’s all about Colombo in the end when it comes to democracy, the power of the people wins. And the people do not live in Colombo.

Democratic Corruption

A large majority of the people in Sri Lanka supports Corruption. The entire UNJVP campaign was based on “Mahinda Rajapakshe’s Corruption”.  (Never mind the fact that while UNJVP shouted corruption from Colombo what people saw was real development after decades of negligence).  So much so that it was taken as a “fact” and no one was able to produce proof.

However by the transitive properties of corrupt logic it can be successfully argued that since it is a fact that MR is corrupt and MR is democratically elected the majority of the Sri Lankan people support Corruption. So whenever someone accuse you of being corrupt just say “The country supports corruption 58% – 40%.

This story on the Washington Post is exactly that; titled “In Sri Lankan politics, not even an opposition astrologer is safe” made me go…

“Opposition” Astrologers? Really??

I don’t buy in to the whole “horoscope” bullshit, but how can be there “opposition” astrologers?

(n) astrologer, astrologist (someone who predicts the future by the positions of the planets and sun and Moon)

(Wordnet 3.0 – Princeton)

Just wonder who recent phenomenon this “opposition astrologers” is. Reminds me of what happened with the astrologers with Tamerlane’s court.

This is great news in fact. Instead of the elite group of astrologers who predicts to politicians of all parties now we have openly pro and anti govt. astrologers. I guess being an astrologer in Sri Lankan politics sucks, especially when both parties come to you for their daily “predictions”. So now it seems they have done the sensible thing and picked a side. (But now they run the risk of being 100% wrong instead of being 50% wrong in an election).

According to the Washington Post this astrologer, Chandrasiri Bandara writes for an “opposition news paper”. So his prediction about the president being “killed” is solely to gain political advantage by being a cheap media whore. I’m sure being the first guy to predict the death of the President after Prabahkaran must be a real kick.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the govt. completely mishandled the entire affair. They should have laughed it off and if they were in a really good mood should have put their own astrologers forward predicting the death of Mr. Bandara leading to a “heavenly” war. Hehe. (Maybe they did. I really didn’t pay any attention to this story when it broke out.)

Mr. Bandara seems to be a modern day astrologer. He has his own web site, and even a facebook page. (If only he can start twittering) I’m sure the recent arrest didn’t affect his hit count either. According to Mr. Bandara there’s a “there is a chance of someone in the government killing me until 2012”. How convenient. But I’m sure it’s a bit off on the prediction scale. It should be 2018 (or 2016 if we go to Presidential polls next year)

This bugger seems to be your typical UNP media whore. Crying about the celebrations which erupted when the LTTE were defeated and being “concerned” about the terrorists and their supporting families in welfare camps.

Besides the Washington post article is seriously outdated. I had to Google to remember what happened; and since Daily Mirror doesn’t say anything about his apparently recent prediction about 2012 I’m sure it’s not a recent event.

Or the Washington post seriously misunderstood the prediction about being killed in 2012. I’m sure the entire Sri Lankan media has too.

Luckily though, I missed it. Did a bit of shopping and got caught up at the Nugegoda Traffic, (which seems to be heavier now that the flyover has being built). There were people driving like crazy (Crazier than usual) at around 7.45 – 8 which I think was to get home to watch the big moment.

So I came home to find out about the history making moment only to hear my sister say it’s about some trains and people travelling in trains. I mean SERIOUSLY? This is worst marketing ever. Have they ever heard about the “boy who cried WOLF!!)

Come to think about it this would have being a great April fool’s joke. And sure made history alright, as the most pointless attempt at making people watch a TV advertisement and 5 mins of Sri Lankan lives that they won’t get back.

On the other hand I figured out how the government’s going to lose this big popularity that they have rightly earned. If they keep acting like this the UNP will look like the better of the two clowns.

On other news I started jogging this morning, was surprised to find out that people are out and about @ 5.45AM.